past journal entries

June 14, 2009 12:54pm

I am governed by my feelings very much. I have come to love this though. Sometimes it gets me into trouble but I cannot deny myself of the intensity that lies here. I am pure and true to myself and my feelings. Passion is uninhibited. Free. Everybody wishes they were this free.

June 15, 2009 2:46am

I am pure. I live with little rules and little inhibition. There are no rules. Nobody has the right to tell you what is right or wrong. You make those definitions on your own. I do what I feel and to me that is enough justification. To me that is pure.

Confidence is the most attractive thing you can wear. I’m wearing my freedom. Doubt and question, although good beginnings of self awareness, have the power to shake confidence.

idea

Now Presenting:

mae's dose

I will now be posting links to songs that I'm listening to. Then I will discuss the song while listening to it for the duration of the track.

So mae's first dose is:

Little Fluffy Clouds by The Orb

He makes me feel the way this song makes me feel. When I listen to it I think of you and now its because it has a real emotional attachment to you and isn't just a song you showed me. This song just makes me feel so good and I don't think anyone can listen to this song and not feel good. I played this song on repeat for like 3-4 days straight. It makes me feel so damn good. Free and it makes me want to bring the air into my lungs and smile. And not only can it do all of that to me but it makes me want to move! I am absolutely incapable of listening to this song and not move. Amazing. Right at 1:21. yes.

...and since I just have so much music I want to share with people here is a second dose:

Tomorrow by Thievery Corporation

Now this song somehow has evaded me the entire time I've had this album. The Mirror Conspiracy. I think it has reached my top albums list... just a side note. Back to the actual track.... HUG YOUR SUB. I promise you I will soon write an entry on bass. I just really listened to this song and it hit me so hard. I was in the car and I almost lost my shit, this song hit me so hard. It was glorious. orgasm_1:22 It speeds up a bit and it really adds to the progression. I love progressive and this song just does it all. The bass, the progression... and the end comes back around and completes the song. From the chill to the high energy, the pure intensity of the feelings these sounds induce.

a past journal entry

June 1, 2009 3:22pm

Perfecting the art of expression.

I think the only reason I write now is to hold on to the days that I used to write regularly and it used to make me feel good. Although I don’t think I can say it doesn’t make me feel good now when I write. But I think I really have lost the fire I once had for writing. When I read my past journal entries though my thoughts generally go something like: wow this was so stupid and ridiculous, totally not worth all the time I spent writing. And the writing is simple with little depth. It’s just me going on and on and on about how upset I am about boys. And it’s almost always about boys. Ugh. I was such an emotional teenager. My entries are just me trying to put my intense feelings on paper and they just come out as annoying banter. I can’t knock myself too much though. I mean that is part of who I am. I guess I’m much better at expressing myself these days. I can articulate much better. But words will never compare to the real feelings. And I almost always feel overwhelmed and disorganized when it comes to actually coming up with the words to describe my life and feelings. Even now. I always ask myself if the words I’ve written were sufficient enough in describing my sentiments. And often I feel the answer is no which I guess is how I can understand how my past entries were long, annoying and repetitive. I just wanted to emphasize my strong feelings. I still do and I always will want to.

Or is it the art of perfecting expression?